What does it take to hold space?

Hello friend,

Holding space. Sounds simple, right? Easy peasy. In fact, holding space often looks from the outside like you’re doing nothing at all, so how hard could it be?

Spoiler alert: so much harder than it looks. Holding space is simple, yes - but deceptively simple. Peel back that veneer of simplicity and you’ll see a thousand layers of how hard it can be to safely hold space.

Story time: I (Esther) used to have a close friend who, whenever I shared something hard would just sit in silence and stare at me. After an uncomfortably long time in which I felt stupid for oversharing I would say, “Did you want to say anything?” and they would respond, “No, I’m holding space for you,” and then just keep staring blankly at me.

😩😬🫠🙈

Needless to say, this friend needed some help in what holding space actually looks like.

Contrary to popular belief, holding space isn’t doing nothing. Sometimes it feels like you’re doing ALL the things - listening deeply, monitoring your own emotional reactions, staying attuned to the other person’s emotions, asking relevant, open-ended questions, offering empathy and support, releasing the need to fix, control or give advice, setting aside differing opinions, realizing what is your responsibility and what isn’t - all at the same time! Whew! Tired yet?

The Good News: We have spent years studying, learning, training, and growing in order to have the skills necessary to hold space for you.

Did you know that between us, we have five degrees in theology and have both trained for two years to become certified Spiritual Directors so that we can hold space for you on your spiritual journey?

We have studied, trained, and practiced for years so that we can offer you the deceptively simple, desperately needed gift of holding space. We’re so glad you’re here.

With gratitude,

Esther + Beth